What stops you from fulfilling your dreams?

By Abeer Jabaji

Personal Development Coach and Classical Homeopath

How many times have we given up on our dreams because of our own self-sabotaging beliefs? “Oh, I don’t have the money for it,” or “I don’t have the time!” “I don’t know how to start.” “I have my job and I am too old to start again!” Sounds familiar? 

We had so many dreams and aspirations when we were young. We wanted to make them all come true. As time passed, we put them on the shelf to collect dust. Sometimes we would visit them or daydream about them, but then abandon them again when we got busy with our daily lives. There were bills to pay, kids to get to school and responsibilities to take care of. But is this what we really wanted for ourselves? Did we want to wake up one day only to find out that life just happened while we stayed in our safe spot, our comfort zone? 

I had many dreams. I wanted to become an actress, then a painter and later a poet. I abandoned all three. I never pursued any of them seriously enough. Do I regret not fulfilling any of them? YES. What stopped me? My own limiting beliefs. The good news? It’s never too late to change all that. 

We can create new dreams or revive old ones. But first, let’s identify the self-sabotaging false beliefs we have about fulfilling our dreams. According to Life Coach Peter Banerjea, the following are a few of the most common obstacles we put in our way:

‘It is too hard’

Sometimes we create our own failures before we even start. We tell ourselves: “What do I need to do to fulfil my dream? Money, talent, time and people to help me. I don’t know how or where to start”. And quickly we abandon the dream. If you feel that your dream is difficult, ask yourself, “What can I do now to work on my dream? What baby steps can I take to get me closer to my dreams?”

• If you want to become a writer, write two pages every day

• If you long to become an artist, start by taking lessons, and if money is a problem, the Internet is full of free tutorials and lessons on painting 

• If you want to climb a mountain, start hiking on weekends

• If you aspire to start your own business, begin networking with people in that field

So just by naming an intention and working towards it little by little, you will soon find yourself on your way to achieving your dream. But why do dreams seem so hard and seem out of reach? Because of the following belief…

‘I have to 

succeed quickly’

How quickly? Five years? Ten years? If that feels like it’s too long, ask yourself: “Would I rather get there late or not at all?” We often lack the discipline and perseverance to work hard and consistently because we are looking for instant gratification. When we don’t get it, we give up on our dreams.

‘Either I become 

known or I’m a failure’

Why do we need to be known or be famous for achieving our dream? Why do we need to compare ourselves to others? Each one of us has their own journey in this world. We don’t need to compete. Some of us achieve more than others because their path is different and their mindset is different while others are late bloomers. There is no set rule towards achieving a dream. If we were able to accomplish a part of our dream only, that doesn’t mean we failed. We only fail if we never try. Maybe I will never become a famous actress or painter, but does that mean any achievements I’ve accomplished towards those dreams are just failures? Definitely not. 

‘It’s too late for me’

Do you feel that you missed the train? I felt that on so many occasions, but people kept proving me wrong. So many people achieved their dreams when they were older. Just read up on all the success stories of people who have achieved their dreams after 50, 60 or even 70. There is no limit to what we can do at any age. There is no time limit on realising one’s dream. If you have a dream, you can make it happen at any age. 

‘It’s too risky. 

I might fail’

True! What if you don’t make it? What if all your efforts are in vain? What if your dream remains unfulfilled? What if you fail? What if you lose money and lose your job? You are right! But be honest with yourself. Are you happy where you are now? If one day you look back on your life, will you regret not following your dreams? Not trying enough?

Don’t you think that’s a risk worth taking? Maybe I haven’t fulfilled my initial dreams but many years later, I achieved another one when I became a counsellor and a personal development life coach. So dreams do come true if we want them badly enough. 

Questioning 

our limiting beliefs

If you have a dream, don’t stall any longer. Life is too short for regrets. Your dreams are closer than you think. What baby steps will you take today to bring yourself closer to your dream?

Reprinted with permission from Family Flavours magazine