Nonverbal communication: Understanding body language

By Dr Tareq Rasheed

International Consultant and Trainer 

One of the most important life skills is communication. About 70 per cent of problems in our organisational and personal lives are due to lack of communication or miscommunication. Nonverbal communication involves body language, voice tone and appearance.

Did you know that your body transmits what you want to communicate? Body language transmits 55 per cent of message delivery and voice tone is responsible for 38 per cent. Thus, nonverbal communication is responsible for 93 per cent of getting your message across, leaving words accountable for only seven per cent. 

The four types of body language

1. Facial expressions: including eyes, nose, mouth and ears

2. Hands movements

3. Leg movements

4. Mixed: including the above three. This is the most important in understanding the exact meaning of the message

Feelings and thoughts that get communicated through body language include sadness, happiness, fear, worry, thoughtfulness, carelessness, interest, love, anger, hate, envy, hesitation, friendliness, honesty or dishonesty. Everything you can think of or feel is reflected mostly in your eyes. Eye contact is one of the most important parts of the body for understanding a message. Eyes will tell you a lot about the real feelings and thoughts of people so look directly into the eyes of the person you’re talking to without staring. 

Signs and their corresponding meanings

• Carelessness: standing with two hands in your pockets while speaking with people

• Worry: standing and speaking with one hand in one pocket

• Reservation: standing with two arms folded across your chest

• Friendliness: open hands while speaking

• Contemplation: finger on the cheek

• Anger: closed hands or clenched fists while speaking

• Boastfulness: speaking with the head raised upward

• Insecurity: speaking with the head down

• Anxiety: sitting with unconscious leg-shaking or foot-tapping

• Boredom: looking at the time or mobile phone constantly

Looking at the time can also mean a person is worried about being late for an appointment. Try asking the person what time it is — if they look back at the watch, it means the person is getting bored, but if they answer the time directly, then the person does have an appointment! So we need always to combine verbal and nonverbal communication to understand the full meaning of a message.

Personal space

Spatial relationships play a major role in body language: 

1. Our outer circle (radius of two metres ) is for formal communication and strangers 

2. Our intermediate circle (radius of one metre) is for colleagues

3. Our inner circle (radius of half a metre or less) is for sincere friends, lovers and family members 

When strangers enter our inner circle, we feel threatened and start resisting indirectly. Think of strangers in an elevator — you may notice people gazing at the ground, the button panel, the closed doors, or they may look at something they are holding in their hands. 

Whenever and wherever we go, our body speaks louder than words. With knowledge and practice, you will soon be on your way to communicating freely and positively with your body!

Reprinted with permission from Family Flavours magazine