Communication

By Nathalie Khalaf,
Holistic Counsellor

Standing up to speak in a classroom as a child or in a group as an adult has always

TERRIFIED me. My heart would start beating faster, I’d feel the palms of my hands sweat

and even a certain trembling sensation inside my body.

It took me years to learn how to “get a hold of myself” and relax before addressing the masses (a group larger than 3 people). I attribute that successful “work in progress”, of course, to my healing journey over so many years,.

The chakra system

And since I relate almost everything I write about to the chakra system, this topic shall be no exception! Let me tell you how working on my energy helped me to relax when speaking and feeling good about it too!

Communicating is not just about using your voice as a means to convey a message or the knowledge you have in your brain. It is so much more than vocally sharing cerebral knowledge.

When communication is impactful, it is more like releasing a song that comes out in the form of words because your body and soul are in tune. It is like pressing on certain points in the body as you would when playing a musical instrument.

From the heart and soul

When communication comes through the soul it means it is knowledge digested by your gut and felt by the heart; it is uttered through the mouth and reaches the hearts of others.

My journey to self-healing uncovered so many layers of false and old beliefs, both personal and collective. I grew up not believing in who I was; comparing myself to everyone around me concluding I was not good enough since I was not like others.

I feared standing out, speaking out, making mistakes and being judged and not loved. It may seem like these were issues of self-confidence and fear, but it was a lot more than that.

A journey through the energy points

Let me take you through the four energy points that lead to the cleaning and opening up of the fifth energy point and how it is all connected.

For a person to be well-spoken and heard (from the fifth energy point, the throat chakra) they would need to work on releasing the fears they have about survival and primal needs.

When our survival needs are met, our first energy point (the root chakra) is nourished and balanced making us feel safe and secure. And with our basic needs met we feel good about ourselves, which nourishes our second energy point (the second chakra).

Feeling good

When we do not feel threatened, then the playfulness and joy of life are easily accessible and contribute to our creative flow in a very positive manner. It thus becomes easier to believe in who we are when feeling good about ourselves in our physical body, mentally and emotionally — especially if we find that we think and do things differently.

“When we feel good about ourselves …we naturally cultivate self-love and love for others”

It is at this stage when we are confident in our being that our personality feels free to shine. Here, our selfconfidence and unique personality come out of a balanced and healthy third energy point (the solar plexus chakra) which opens up the energy path to the heart, the centre of our being.

When we feel good about ourselves and enjoy a sense of playfulness, creativity and joy, we naturally cultivate selflove and love for others.

Communicating our desires freely

An open heart centre allows the energy flow to move up to the throat. Here, we feel that we can easily and readily express ourselves, communicating our desires and love with no fear, no guilt, no shame and no holding back.

At this stage, our communication comes from the centre of our being and is more of an emotional exercise than a cerebral one. It is the sharing and speaking through love with no expectations of how the information is received.

That is the difference between someone speaking for the sake of speaking, as a cerebral activity, and someone sharing a part of who they are. The latter immediately creates a connection with the audience, creating loving emotional experiences in those listening.

The difference in communication being that one shares information and the other shares a part of who they are.

Listening to understand

If we haven’t really worked on our own issues then it is true to say that: The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand, but we listen to reply. Unless we clear ourselves of all energy blocks, we will listen from a place of reaction and response instead of truly taking in and absorbing.

Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything”. I love this line for the simplicity it offers. How great it feels to always communicate the truth and live freely.

It is liberating for both us and others when we commit to communicating our desires through truth. Sure, the truth may be challenging at times, especially in relationships built on expectations and duty, but that is only if we have expectations and live with the need for duty.

Reprinted with permission from Family Flavours magazine